No one ever tot that I will face this kind of situation.. I can't even explain it in words.. I was speechless.. I tried my best to avoid from meeting my friends.. I'm just too shame to face them.. I wasn't the same as they know me before.. I wasn't good enaf to be their friend.. I could be the worst person that they ever know in this world..
To my surprise, my best friend has left me.. Without even saying goodbye.. I was damn so sad.. Why did you have to leave me alone, at this crucial moment.? The time where I need you so bad to be here with me.. To accompany me. To give me motivation.. I need you now.. :'(
Today should be the day that my problem ended. But, there's only 50-50 chance, whether today could be the end of my problem or the continuous period of my problem.. How can I beg God to throw away this problem?? I don't want it.. I hate it !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Will I continue to live like this?? Can I stand on my ground? No one have the answer..
The only thing that I could say is please don't leave me... Whoever read this.. I need someone..
I miss my dearest friends so much.. Whom I share my laugh and happiness..
But for now, I can't share my sadness with them..
They are too young to be part in this situation..
I won't let them to be next to me..
Maybe I should face this thing alone..
Perhaps, they will someone more better than me.
To replace me..
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