Tuesday, 25 December 2012

Merry Christmas ^^

Happy Christmas !!!! I have waited for 11 months and 24 days to celebrate dis season of greetings.. ^^ but its worth it. I love~ Xmas so, so much.. hehehe. so, its 3.30 am and I still awake. why do you think? b'cos I can't sleep laa.. hehe. plus, I want to update about Christmas cos I might have no chance to do it later on . as the moon hide itself and the sun take over, I will be bound up with works.. since my guest are coming over at noon, and my dad's friends will come in the evening.. hope avything will run smoothly .. :)

so, Christmas.. what do I expect this year..? present? wishes? boyfriend maybe.. hahahaha. not yet for any serious relationship with any boys. I love being single.. plus, I want to avoid that thing for now.. I want to focus on my career.. hehehehe, will try to find a career. Present... hurrmm.. I'm not into it this year.. I have everything that I needed.. so that is not my priority for this Xmas.. ~winks.

this Xmas, the only thing that I wanted so bad is to celebrate this important event in my life with my friends.. Yeah babe ! :) so, dis year my guest are many. hehe. my friends from SPM batch, STPM batch and others friends from school and my acquaintance.. did I used that word correctly?? o.O
yeah..there will be lots of my friends that are coming over my house.. I hope they will enjoy this Christmas season with me.. :) This could be my last Christmas here.. I hope so.. ^^

oh yeah, I also want to put something in this entree. Christmas is also my brother's birthday.. my third brother Amsar bin Yunus a.k.a Daud.. Happy birthday bro.. May God bless you always.. You need to be rich then give all of your properties to me.. hahahaha. Nah, just kidding. All the best in your life. Thank you for teaching me lots of things since I was a kid. You are one of the reason why I grow up become a successful student.. thanks.

He has a very good date of birthday. I envy him. =,= .. Okay now, what else to say.. Hurmm, today I'd try to deal with my friends today.. to solve the conflict between us. Since new year is coming, I don't want to end this 2012 year with a tragedy. Its not fun. Moreover, I am the person that always get involved with crisis in a friendship.. hehehehe. Fight samtimes makes the bond become firm and closer, right? so I have put my best effort to make things right.. For now, let God decide the best for all of us.. Besides, I have planned lots of things for 'em this Xmas and New Year..

(from 3 Idiots movie)

Well, back to the title.. Dear Lord, I loved Chritmas so much b'cos I want to celebrate Christ . Thank you Jesus for avything that You gave me.. for avything that You have done for me and the unchanged and precious gift that You always wrapped me with is Your Love.. Thank you for always loving me and take care of me.. I will be a good girl for You.. I will try to  strengthen my faith for You.. Walk my way Jesus.. Thank you b'cos You willingly die to clean my sins. I owe You A LOT and the only thing that You ever asked me to so is to believe in Heavenly Father and You.. 

You will always be in my heart.. <3 Jesus Christ <3

Have A Merry Little Christmas

Monday, 24 December 2012

Be Not Judge

Less than 23hrs to go before Christmas Day.. while laying on my bed , in front of laptop and listening to Greyson Chance's song 'Sunshine and City Lights' ..its a cold and calm night right now.. but there's no moon.. :( its a short day today.. I got up at noon, then I went to Eastern Plaza around 1 pm until 6 pm.. It was full of test when I was there.. test for my patience and my faith.. to summarize my experience dealing with 5 hours that fulls of temptation, I'll write a short motivating essay.. I guess.. hahaha.

I know very well how it feels to be judge. I also judge people sometimes. and yet people love to judge me frequently. They'll judge me like they wanna throw me into hell. Judging isn't a good thing. I'd learn my lesson. We shouldn't judge people 'cos if we did, we will also confront the same thing that we did to others. I'd remember an English quotes 'what goes around, comes around' and 'what you give is what you get' . That is why people tends to say that life is like a wheel, we're living in a circle so we will face every corner of life.. Once we're up, we will also back to the bottom.. but does it 100% true? and do you really wanna deal with ups and downs throughout your life?

Okay, we really can't run from facing the ups and downs in life. Its a common thing. but why not we try to change our concept of life. For me, I'd love to compare life like 'climbing the mountain'.. Arr~ how about that? think.. think.. okay, you know, in our life, we have our own goals, am I right? so 'climbing' is the journey to achieve our goals. along the process, that's our life.. and while we climb the mount, we will have to deal with lots of rocks and stream or even wild creatures.. these are the things that we called ATTEMPTS. we need to the deal with these things. sometimes, people can't stand these attempt because they are not passionate and they did not have a strong heart to overcome their problems. That's why many people were such a loser. they don't want to fight for the life..

Only the strongest will survive...

We need to be bold. We will found many roads on the way to the top, so we also need to be clever to choose only the best decision for our life. In terms of this, we aren't only have to clever in planning our strategies, but we also need to pick the right people to help us in our life. 'Be careful in picking friends' . Absolutely. Nowadays, there are so many hypocrite person. They are good in front, but a backstabber behind. They are nice at a good time but they'll be cruel at the bad time. Its hard to find the real friend, I really meant it. But, in all this, just have the positive think that these 'bad friends' were sent by God to test our faith. We live in this world not to find friends only, but the real mission is to learn about our God. 'cos in the end, we'll be alone when we entered the new world after we die.. and we will be alone in our own grave for sure. There's no friends that gonna come along in our grave,right?  :) 

No matter how lonely you feel without friends at your side, never forget that God always be there for us... We never notice Him besides us. 

My advice is try our best to be a good friends to others and never try to persecute your friends. If they did to you, don't do the same. otherwise, you'll be the same like them. I know we are hurt inside, but let time heal it and be near to God, He will help us to get over it.. Don't hate them also, but pray for them.. afterall, they used to be your friends right.
If there is no retaliation in the world, be not worry because in the afterlife (akhirat) it will await for them. Believe in karma.

A very long journey of our life, right? I know humans are not perfect. I am not a perfect person also. I have my own weakness. But I learn from everything that happened to me. I don't want to be a naive person. to think rationally and be matured are the main element in every actions that I take. some people might not understand my way, but if they think at the bright side, they will get it. Just wait for them to grow up. :)

On top of all, life is full wonderful things. Even our 'Blues Monday' is also a good thing if we think positively. Try not to be easily manipulated by words of people. sometimes, hearing people tots and entirely believe it will only makes things getting worst. so believe in what your heart say. Don't be arrogant and too egoistic until you keep aside the right thing to do. We never know that we have done mistakes until we regret. That time, when we look back to the day that we have made a stupid action, we will know how stupid we were. the worst thing is we cannot turn back the time in order to put thing the way it supposed to be. And again, things cannot back to normal ever again.

Don't ever think that we are perfect inside and outside. We have our own weakness. Just live our life to the fullest. If we are meant to lose something, then let it go. We can't keep everything that we love. Just walk and climb until you manage to be on the top. When you did it, there are two main things that you should do.

See above - not for you to be proud of your glory, but to be THANKFUL to GOD. HE is the reason why you can achieve your goals in life. Remember God always.

See below - for you to be humble and down to earth. don't be too proud of ourselves. Just be the person like you were at the beginning. We don't have to shout and tell everyone that we're good, its more than enough to let God know it. :)

One important key of life is FAITH.

Him (God)

So that is my short motivating essay.. I guess it short..hehehe. Anyway, may God bless us all. Amen. :)

Saturday, 22 December 2012

To Walk Away

Walk away. Just two words that are easy to say, easy to spell and easy to write. But, to do the meaning of the two words is hard and takes a huge courage and a great passion.. That is what I'm trying to do now. to walk away from my past, from my probs, and from my friends whom I known for one an a half year only.. I wonder if I'm being cruel in my friendship, but when I look back, what they have done leave a scar in my heart.. A great pain that they can never imagine. to be called betrayer is not samting that i ever wished for, nor samting that i ever wanted. They accused before they ask for the truth.. I hate the fact that friends can be a total enemy when they lost their mind..

To walk away..I took a deep breath and think deeply before I did this.. to walk away from my past. I have gone thru many shit in my past.. some leave scars, some leave pain, some leave nothing but regrets.. I have experienced bad days at sch, bad days at home.. probs with friends, probs with teachers and especially probs with family.. all these past time teach me a great things that I can't buy it anywhere with money.. I remember a time when a group of boys (my seniors form4) when I was form 3 came to my class and threatened me.. I guess they wanna beat me that time. More than 15 boys wanna beat up a 15 yrs old girl.. Ha-ha-ha.. what a crazy stuff there.. lol.. the funny thing that happened was I shout at them 'TELL ME' !! then all of them went silent, they kept quiet, none of them were speaking. I'd only asked them who was the one who sang stupid song insulting my religion.. I guess they don't understand english.. hahahaha. to my surprised, they walked away from me.. afraid when I shout like that.. hahahahaha.. what an idiot !

My past time oso leave a great memories of my crush.. when I think back, I like so many people back then.. hahaha.. I fell in love easily maybe.. Haha. Nah, nope la.. only this one guy that I met, I saw, I like.. but he can never be mine. :) u're like moon dear boy. I couldn't touch you above the sky.. but, its killing me that being a moon oso means that u are seen by everyone.. many pp adores you, like you and stars are the pp that always crowded you.. you are always crowded with many girls.. I ain't like it.. but what can I do, u're not mine, and u'll never be. U'll never notice me, a lonely girl that hoping a guy will realize that I'm actually exist.. I love your smile.. Your eyes.. Your voice.. I'll miss it all..

To leave my probs behind is a bit hard to do.. No, damn so hard to do.. My probs spinning like crazy in my mind.. samtimes I can't get rid of it.. I'll think.. think.. n keep thinking.. samtimes it drive me crazy.. I try so hard not to think too much. But I can't control my head.. so, by walking away from probs can help my brain to rest..to be free from thinking too much.. Oh, I oso overcome this 'thinking too much' by reading books.. i just love books so much.. I rili love storybooks. ;)

And finally, talking bout leaving my friend.. Yea, its mean. devastating. Nobody want to lose friend.. But we can't force ourselves to keep a bad friend in our life. They only can make our life getting worst. I'd rather live with cookie monster than living with friend whom like a real monster.. Hahahaha. Troublemaker, backstabber, slanderer or any types of friends-like-monster ..I'm used to this kind of friends.. Free advice : people like this should be removed by throwing 'em into a deep ocean and give 'em to sharks.. Cruel?? Not so cruel compare with what they did to ruin your life.. Hehe, Nah, just kidding. Leave them to God.. God knows better how to punish this monster.. so I guess its not wrong to end friendship that bring no benefits but problems in our life.. Make a good decision in your life, which is take care of your own heart.. Friends who only hurts you shouldn't be given chance..

Opportunity doesn't knock twice in your door...

Yea, if I could fall into the sky, watching you passing by, I'l give a cynical smile.. hahaha. Be aware.

I'd learn to try to let it go... :)

Thursday, 20 December 2012

Frowning Heart

How do I start my story.. since its a sad story, so I was struggling with words to begin it.. This week was the hectic, tired and stressful week.. I spent lots of my time at home, doing chores and do the preparation for Christmas.. I was exhausted.. Sleep very late every night (I know I'm used to it) but still, my body was lack of rest.. I oso have eating disorder.. Since mom are sick now, she didn't cook.. so I ate maggie almost everyday.. I'm still hungry until now.. Luckily I went to town today.. and it all begin here...

My friends and I promise to hang out together today.. but, samting just happened so we have to call it off. but still can't stop me from going to town since I rili nid to run my errands at town.. Its not easy to be in my shoes.. There are lots of things that I nid to handle.. but they just can't understand the situation.. Call me a LIAR, BETRAYER or anything you wanted..you just don't understand me !!!! I'm having a stressful week and they were adding problems in my head.. THANK YOU SO MUCH .

If only they know that I rili nid a BREAK. I nid to go out from this house since I can't stand it anymore.. to keep avything inside my heart and mind.. every little and big problems.. I dun think that they even care what kind of problems that I am dealing with now.. 'cos all that they care is their feeling only.. Finally they show me truth that they never CARE ABOUT OTHERS..

Yet, I feel calm when to talk to her (KeyNa) , thanks for willingly listen to each of things that I said.. How thankful I was.. 'cos at least I feel calm a lil.. It wasn't easy to carry all the frustrating things in your heart every single day.. but I know that I'm strong enaf to face it.. I still can smile to the world, thou I cry for myself..

Yes, I was dissapointed with their behavior today.. They update on the social networks referring me and my listener for today.. Its fine.. They don't know the real situation so they acting stupidly today.. sorry to say that..

We planned, but God decide..

To conclude this story, it was heartbreaking when your own friends say bad things about you, misunderstood you and accuse you wrongly when they didn't know the truth.. to be honest, I AM SUPER DISAPPOINTED.. don't admit me as your friend if you think that I am a betrayer.. 

I hope my life will be better next time.. I rili nid to get rid of this hard situation. even harder than STPM season.. they who have a happy life, can't understand my situation.. to be called RUDE everyday, scolded.. I save too much pain in my heart and my mind.. I don't know how to rebuild my heart.. y can't I be happy like my friends?? God test me with a great pain.. but they (who I tot are my friends) crash my heart.. another test from God I guess.. 

Someone told me 'You'll face more shit in your life'.. today was one of it.. I dunno what else to say.. For the time being, I rili don't want to meet these kind of friends.. I dun even care what will they say.. I am torn.. by their words and act.. I just wish that people will stop treat me like dat.. Its enaf that I've experienced treated like a slave, like I have no feeling, what will they understand bout that?? they don't even care of others.. You guys dunno rite how I feel inside.. Nobody does !!! I'm totally sick of this life.. Everything hurts me so bad.. I lost my heart long time ago..

They didn't know how it was to cry without sound, not letting even a drop of tear to flow out from eyes.. I cry inside without anyone notice and knowing it... I am very aggrieved with my own friends.. Today was just one of my miserable and sorrowful day.. Thanks for being cruel to a broken heart..

Sunday, 16 December 2012

Happening Saturday

Okay now, where should I start.. Ermm, lets c. So I spent my half of my day baking cookies again today.. bla,bla,bla.. ordinary job since Christmas is coming.. so I'm doing dis chocolate cookies.. can't explain much bout it, just take a look at it below..

it looks pretty n its a bit hard to do.. cos my backbone hurts when I did dis cookies.. hurmm, not just dat my eyes also sgt kuyu.. =,=

my first sister oso busy..

my 2nd sister helping me.. =)

my house was a bit messy today due to some renovation.. plus, a group of caroling (from my mom's church) are coming over at 8.30 pm, so I nid to work faster if I want to get out earlier from dis house..haha. I'l talk about it later.. Just check out my house today..

 my living room..there's a ladder in the middle.. hehe. dunno where else to put.
 my christmas tree.. also in the middle of living room..hehe
 my dining room.. a bit messy cos were making cookies..
 a new look ! ^^

after I finished making half of my choco cookies around 6.30 pm, I went upstairs to get ready to go to wedding event.. Its my classmate, Farah, her sister wedding.. I also make this event as an excuse for me to go out and not be able to join caroling from my mother's church..hahaha.. I'm being cruel.. but its better for me to save myself.. :D

but I'm not so mean cos I made drinks n a cake for 'em.. I forgot take pic of it.. I made 'cincau susu' and chocolate cake for 'em.. Nyum, nyum~ I told 'em to come at 8.30 pm, rite.. but they come half an hour early !! darn it.. I have to hide at the back of my house so they won't c me.. hahahaha.. I feel like stupid behind.. Andik, (my fren who sapos to fetch me) come very late.. I guess 8.30 pm he came with Boboi.. What the!

Okay, move on to the next story.. I arrived at Kompleks Sukan Tawau, where the wedding was held inside hall.. Woah~ Red ! I can't believe they choose color red as the colour theme. It was beautiful.. I mean their wedding decoration elegant and gorgeous !! Luckily I wear red casual blouse that time.. Just perfect! haha.. and so we eat, I was so excited when I saw 'daging' !! Wooo~ I rili love eating meat.. but I dunno what kind of meat that I ate that time,,whether its 'lembu' or 'kambing', I'm not sure.. most important thing, its delicious~ !! I enjoy my food A LOT ! cos oso got mango mix with green tomato, what??! I never try it before but I rili, rili like it ! hahahaha..

Only me, Boboi, Andie, Norma n Noy (Realis's team) went to dis wedding.. the rest cannot make it.. :(
but we having a great time together.. we snap a few photos.. but I didn't have photo with Farah.. =( but Norma have it.. I'l take from her next time.. so, this was my moment there...at wedding.

the wedding day as I said..

 Noy and Norma..
 Me, with Andie on my left and Boboi on my right.. sweet !
 Andie and Noy.. Noy is like wearing contact lens laa..hehe
 Me and beautiful Norma..

Red to red..me and Boboi.. ^^

I look tired here.. took so long to take dis pic.. I was tired of smiling.. hahaha.

oh ya, I got two beautiful gift from dis wedding.. I LOVE IT !! :)

The box wrapped with green ribbon is the special one that Farah prepared for us.. The big one is from her mom.. hehe. Advance cos I got two....
Inside it is....

I rili love that glass bottle.. ^^  oso that 'potong kuku'.. I rili nid one cos I lost mine! hahaha..

from the wedding ceremony, about 10 pm, I didn't go straight to home, cos I dun want to back home early, so the three of us (me, Boboi and Andie) went to town at Empire hang out, drink and eat SAYAP PANGGANG... Nyum ! Nyum ! it was cool ! we talked a lot..while eating.. lots of people there, I rili love the wind blew on me.. feel so cold yet calm.. while texting with Keyna, Rierien and Esh, they told me to go home cos it was late night oready..but I ignore them.. I wanna have fun tonight.. hahaha.. Near 11.30 pm we decided to go home.. but I dun want the night to end.. I love hanging out with my friends.. thou I'm the only girl with two guys..hehe. They are good friends of mine. :)
I arrived at home near 12 o'clock I guess.. who cares? hahaha..

when I arrived, I nid to continue making chocolate cookies.. Luckily, I'm not tired.. Thanks to my Insomnia, I am very active at night, so I have good energy at night..hehe. This is it ! My choolate cookies.. =)

cute right.. hehehe.. I finished at 2 am and I started surfing internet until right now blogging.. hehe. I guess I nid to get on my bed now cos first thing in the morning I nid to clean my house then went shopping with my sisters.. =)  I love shopping..

I'l close today story with the picture of my Christmas tree.. in rememberence of my unforgettable Saturday night hanging out to wedding event and went to town late night.. ^^ super awesome !!

can't wait for Christmas.. ^^ God bless me..

Wednesday, 12 December 2012


The very special date..n full of memories.. people were excited bout dis date, n I am one of it 'cos lot of things happened to me on dis date.. First of all, I'm FREE on dis day.. m no longer a student.. I finished my sch today, my last STPM exam , my last day wearing sch unform, my last day going to sch (as a student), n shud be the last day of it. ^^ I know I have done lots of mistakes dis one n a half year as a student, but I'd try to change..as best as I could. I'l transform myself when I walk into new year of 2013.. only a few days ahead..

On dis date, I have paper BM1 exam at 2pm.. It was a bit confusing.. I was stress.. I'm too afraid.. Dunno y. I hope avything just fine.. As soon as we hear the wisel from the teacher in charge, my fren burst into shout.. I was smiling.. This is it.. The final end of our journey together as REALIS.. I rili miss them.. We gona take a diff road after dis.. We might not see each other so often, but we try to be close in our heart.. Till death separate our body but not our soul.. =)

So we spent almost 20 mins capturing pictures before we heading home.. These are some photos that I love the most... Well, I love all of it.. But  I can only upload a few of it.. Check it out..
This is my lovely friends.. On my left, Keyna.. On my right, RieRien.. I'm in the middle..hehe

This is me with my OC group.. On my left, Putlih n on my right is Sue.. I love them both.. ^^

I'l try to upload the rest of the photos next time..hehe. I'm gonna miss sch period.. Thou dis sch left so much pain, yet also give me so much happiness.. The great thing is, I finally free from all of sophisticated things that crowded my life..

Back to 12-12-12, I spent my day at ABC after finished exam.. Then I went shopping with my sys.. Back home having rest for awhile, then busy baking cookies.. Since Christmas is around the corner, I was busy baking n cleaning my house.. So much work to do.. Yet still cant overcome my insomnia.. I still hard to sleep at night.. Such a nuisance..

So, the date of 12-12-12 is just a number..ordinary wednesday but lots of things happened that make dis day special.. In short, thou REALIS 2011/2012 end today, our friendship has no ending.. I love all of you .tagging : Sue, Putlih, Dira, Rina, Keyna, Rynn, Eija, Farah, Norma, Noy, Andi n Boboi.. 12-12-12 is the number of my dearest classmates of REALIS at SMK TAWAU.. Goodbye sch and welcome myself to a new world of grown up girl..

All the best for the next, next day.. May God bless me always. Amen,