Saturday, 22 December 2012

To Walk Away

Walk away. Just two words that are easy to say, easy to spell and easy to write. But, to do the meaning of the two words is hard and takes a huge courage and a great passion.. That is what I'm trying to do now. to walk away from my past, from my probs, and from my friends whom I known for one an a half year only.. I wonder if I'm being cruel in my friendship, but when I look back, what they have done leave a scar in my heart.. A great pain that they can never imagine. to be called betrayer is not samting that i ever wished for, nor samting that i ever wanted. They accused before they ask for the truth.. I hate the fact that friends can be a total enemy when they lost their mind..

To walk away..I took a deep breath and think deeply before I did this.. to walk away from my past. I have gone thru many shit in my past.. some leave scars, some leave pain, some leave nothing but regrets.. I have experienced bad days at sch, bad days at home.. probs with friends, probs with teachers and especially probs with family.. all these past time teach me a great things that I can't buy it anywhere with money.. I remember a time when a group of boys (my seniors form4) when I was form 3 came to my class and threatened me.. I guess they wanna beat me that time. More than 15 boys wanna beat up a 15 yrs old girl.. Ha-ha-ha.. what a crazy stuff there.. lol.. the funny thing that happened was I shout at them 'TELL ME' !! then all of them went silent, they kept quiet, none of them were speaking. I'd only asked them who was the one who sang stupid song insulting my religion.. I guess they don't understand english.. hahahaha. to my surprised, they walked away from me.. afraid when I shout like that.. hahahahaha.. what an idiot !

My past time oso leave a great memories of my crush.. when I think back, I like so many people back then.. hahaha.. I fell in love easily maybe.. Haha. Nah, nope la.. only this one guy that I met, I saw, I like.. but he can never be mine. :) u're like moon dear boy. I couldn't touch you above the sky.. but, its killing me that being a moon oso means that u are seen by everyone.. many pp adores you, like you and stars are the pp that always crowded you.. you are always crowded with many girls.. I ain't like it.. but what can I do, u're not mine, and u'll never be. U'll never notice me, a lonely girl that hoping a guy will realize that I'm actually exist.. I love your smile.. Your eyes.. Your voice.. I'll miss it all..

To leave my probs behind is a bit hard to do.. No, damn so hard to do.. My probs spinning like crazy in my mind.. samtimes I can't get rid of it.. I'll think.. think.. n keep thinking.. samtimes it drive me crazy.. I try so hard not to think too much. But I can't control my head.. so, by walking away from probs can help my brain to be free from thinking too much.. Oh, I oso overcome this 'thinking too much' by reading books.. i just love books so much.. I rili love storybooks. ;)

And finally, talking bout leaving my friend.. Yea, its mean. devastating. Nobody want to lose friend.. But we can't force ourselves to keep a bad friend in our life. They only can make our life getting worst. I'd rather live with cookie monster than living with friend whom like a real monster.. Hahahaha. Troublemaker, backstabber, slanderer or any types of friends-like-monster ..I'm used to this kind of friends.. Free advice : people like this should be removed by throwing 'em into a deep ocean and give 'em to sharks.. Cruel?? Not so cruel compare with what they did to ruin your life.. Hehe, Nah, just kidding. Leave them to God.. God knows better how to punish this monster.. so I guess its not wrong to end friendship that bring no benefits but problems in our life.. Make a good decision in your life, which is take care of your own heart.. Friends who only hurts you shouldn't be given chance..

Opportunity doesn't knock twice in your door...

Yea, if I could fall into the sky, watching you passing by, I'l give a cynical smile.. hahaha. Be aware.

I'd learn to try to let it go... :)

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