Thursday, 20 December 2012

Frowning Heart

How do I start my story.. since its a sad story, so I was struggling with words to begin it.. This week was the hectic, tired and stressful week.. I spent lots of my time at home, doing chores and do the preparation for Christmas.. I was exhausted.. Sleep very late every night (I know I'm used to it) but still, my body was lack of rest.. I oso have eating disorder.. Since mom are sick now, she didn't cook.. so I ate maggie almost everyday.. I'm still hungry until now.. Luckily I went to town today.. and it all begin here...

My friends and I promise to hang out together today.. but, samting just happened so we have to call it off. but still can't stop me from going to town since I rili nid to run my errands at town.. Its not easy to be in my shoes.. There are lots of things that I nid to handle.. but they just can't understand the situation.. Call me a LIAR, BETRAYER or anything you just don't understand me !!!! I'm having a stressful week and they were adding problems in my head.. THANK YOU SO MUCH .

If only they know that I rili nid a BREAK. I nid to go out from this house since I can't stand it anymore.. to keep avything inside my heart and mind.. every little and big problems.. I dun think that they even care what kind of problems that I am dealing with now.. 'cos all that they care is their feeling only.. Finally they show me truth that they never CARE ABOUT OTHERS..

Yet, I feel calm when to talk to her (KeyNa) , thanks for willingly listen to each of things that I said.. How thankful I was.. 'cos at least I feel calm a lil.. It wasn't easy to carry all the frustrating things in your heart every single day.. but I know that I'm strong enaf to face it.. I still can smile to the world, thou I cry for myself..

Yes, I was dissapointed with their behavior today.. They update on the social networks referring me and my listener for today.. Its fine.. They don't know the real situation so they acting stupidly today.. sorry to say that..

We planned, but God decide..

To conclude this story, it was heartbreaking when your own friends say bad things about you, misunderstood you and accuse you wrongly when they didn't know the truth.. to be honest, I AM SUPER DISAPPOINTED.. don't admit me as your friend if you think that I am a betrayer.. 

I hope my life will be better next time.. I rili nid to get rid of this hard situation. even harder than STPM season.. they who have a happy life, can't understand my situation.. to be called RUDE everyday, scolded.. I save too much pain in my heart and my mind.. I don't know how to rebuild my heart.. y can't I be happy like my friends?? God test me with a great pain.. but they (who I tot are my friends) crash my heart.. another test from God I guess.. 

Someone told me 'You'll face more shit in your life'.. today was one of it.. I dunno what else to say.. For the time being, I rili don't want to meet these kind of friends.. I dun even care what will they say.. I am torn.. by their words and act.. I just wish that people will stop treat me like dat.. Its enaf that I've experienced treated like a slave, like I have no feeling, what will they understand bout that?? they don't even care of others.. You guys dunno rite how I feel inside.. Nobody does !!! I'm totally sick of this life.. Everything hurts me so bad.. I lost my heart long time ago..

They didn't know how it was to cry without sound, not letting even a drop of tear to flow out from eyes.. I cry inside without anyone notice and knowing it... I am very aggrieved with my own friends.. Today was just one of my miserable and sorrowful day.. Thanks for being cruel to a broken heart..

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