A Growing Up Woman

It has been 28 days since 2015 come and bring a new year to me. This is a year that I'm gonna be a 22 years old lady. How time flies so fast. I started writing blog since I'm 18 years old. Been telling stories ever since that. The happiness, sadness, struggle and everything that had push me down to hell or lifted me up to heaven. Time has brought me into different circumstances. Despite all that, I am grateful I am still breathing in this world today and still fighting the battle of the life. I am still be the girl who will survive all the challenges in life.

2015, what will I face this year? It is a total different year for me. A year I wanna be matured than before, a year I'm gonna achieve great things for me to smile at when I'm old, a year that I will make my family proud of me by doing excellent in my studies and life, a year that I will also work hard find money as much as I can as a young adult that will make use of her younger life. A year that I will build stronger bond with my friends and society, and also met more new people to be my friends. Last but not least, a year that I have someone special with me. :')

For the past 21 years, I've met more than enough guys in my life. There's a quote saying

"From 16 to 22, you will meet a lot of temporary people."

Yes, I did met so many temporary people.. But I never regret it. It has been a good lesson for me. To know so many types of people in this world. I have to agree that, some people are not meant to stay in our life, some stay, some go.. After all, it's life. :')

But then, when I think back of all the time that I have wasted for the wrong people, I feel so stupid. I can't gain back all the time that I have lost. So, I have to make use of the time that I have now and in the future. Life is so unpredicted sometimes. As I was moving on from all of my stupid mistakes and focus on build my better future, God give me someone. Someone that told me that I am blessing in his life.. It was like, God give me this gift to fill my day with more love and to get more closer to Him. 

I've been praying all my life that I wanted God to sent me someone that is the same religion with me. Its all that I ever ask from the beginning. The reason is because I want to choose someone because of his religion, and that will tied me more to God and also him. It has never been easy.. And then I found someone..or he found me. I don't know which way it was. Suddenly everything change. I am still the same May, but inside me has changed. I told myself, it's time for me to change my bad attitude of flirting with temporary people and focus on someone that will teach me many things.. I'm still learning.. Learning on how to love, how to be loyal and how to keep everything going on well with me trying to fit him into my life.. There's gonna be a lot of challenges, and I am taking all the risk to be in this position.. But God, I will try my best.. Just keep this one for me.. I want him because I feel that I can get myself closer to You by him.. :') You're still gonna be my first priority.

Ok, cut the story bout my special someone.. Now, lets focus on the future May.. 

Geez, my third semester result will be out soon.. I dun wanna talk much bout it, I am praying and hoping that it will be much better than the previous. I need it so bad. :'( God... help me. 

I know how hard it is studying for Law School.. Pressure from family, lecturers, peers.. It ain't easy.. Sometimes the pressure makes me even stronger, but sometimes I'm feeling weak.. Its just normal. Ups and downs of life.. No matter what happen, I just gotta keep going. Keep the motion.. Aim for best future ahead, and I will achieve it..by hook or by crook. Sometimes, just sometimes.. We need to be cruel.. That's how we deal with this cruel world of people chasing their dreams.

Fight your own battle, no one will help you till the end except yourself. God gives you strength from time to time, so make use of it wisely. :')

God.. help me to grow up to be a better woman day by day.. I want my inner self to be pure and beautiful.. That's what matter the most.. The inner part of myself. To get rid of my darker side. Eventually, the inside of me will outgrow to show the better personality of my external..

God willing.. Open the eyes of my heart, dear Lord..for a better way of living thru Your love.. Amen.. :')