Ermmm... (thinking mod) so, I was reading a book juz now.. "Reasoning from the Scriptures" . I turned to page which discuss about Faith. I admit it, dat I was absolutely lack of faith juz before I read the book. Meaning dat now I'm not.. hehe. I was thinking, how can I acquire faith?? Then the book give me the answer ---> Faith follows the thing heard.. so, I nid to find (first thing to do) what is my main priority, thus I can strengthen my conviction then I can convinced of the reliability.. Pretty hard to understand,huh? Ok, like this, with the heart one exercises faith. In order for me to gain my faith, I nid to discover what I want to have faith in. For instance, if I wanna strengthen my faith towards God, I nid to get to know Jehovah and His way of doing things first. N this will take time b'coz before we build faith into something, it will took a long time to prove that we can have faith in it.
So, what do I know about Faith?? For me, (thinking as a matured girl), Faith comes from my heart, which means something or someone dat I put my trust on it or him/her as I believe in it (him/her) . The question is, do I have faith in myself? before we can have any faith into something, we rili nid to hav faith in ourself first. M now tryin to gain my faith again. I've lost it before n now I'm seeking for it again. I'm sorry I did dat. :'( I was lack in faith towards myself. How idiot I was. But dats not imprtant anymore, cuz I'd realize my mistakes now, n I want to fix everything.
Forgive me, God . :'(
I wan to be 'born' again. Be a new person. With a new hope. God will guide my way dis time, I will let Him, even if it means dat I nid to leave behind ol de things dat I wan to chase before but aren't the things dat He planned for me. "Aku redha, Aku pasrah" . I will do as You said, God. Your commands are my priority now. I shouldn't waste my time for something useless. I have waste 18 years n now I nid to pay back another 18 years of my life just for you. I will focus on You, my Lord, as well as I will focus on my study. ^^
I feel better now. Less stress n more peaceful. Thank you Jesus. I love being wif You. Living in your grace n mercy. I'd promise myself to be a better person. M not goin to promise anything to You, cuz I will look like I'd tried to do crime (rasuah) .. ---> bad thing!
First thing to do now is to finish ol my sch works within 3 days juz before the sch-break is over..hehehe. Focus May !! u can do it.. cuz I owez did... ^^
I know u can control ur feeling much more better now, isn't it? cuz God with me. For He owez did.
Leave the past behind you. Dun look back if its only gona hurts you. They used to be ur frens, but now they didn't. so, I nid to move on, forget ol the things that I planned to be my future n be prepared for what He has planned the future for me. N for my unconditional feelin inside dis little heart in myself, I'll keep it..forever. As I said, I'll love u, even if it hurts.. Love u more, even if it hurts me more. N still gona love u, thou it hurts even more. will owez love you till it hurts no more.. so does the love toward you, my Lord will stay in my heart..N next to you is Him.. :')
I love him only b'coz I love You,God.. I wana be with You forever..
Born as a Christian n Die as a Christian.. Its all I wanted ever since You come into my life..
Dear God (Father in Heaven),
Listen to my prayer, from the bottom of my heart n from my living soul .. Forgive all my sins, my wrong deeds n my mistakes.. I'm asking for Your forgiveness, dear Lord.. :'( I've repented.. I shouldn't repeat my old mistakes.. But, human being owez did de same mistake n I am one of them. For I am no perfect, I sapos to make mistakes.. But I should be the good daughter of my Lord.. the good person who believe in God.. Thank you for all the blessing that You hav gave me.. I am very thankful for it. Oh God, I long for You. I'm looking for You. Its been a long time since I walked in the darkness, without Your guide n Your love. I need You, dear God.. I owez did. I was lost for a moment, but now I found You back, n I wana be with You. I'll stick with You.. Guide me, Jesus.. Please keep dis feeling inside me forever.. M sincerely love him, if He were meant to be with me, keep his heart for me.. M saying all this things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen..
I've done with my story n my prayer.. All the best for the future. M ready for tomorrow n afterwards..
p/s : I'll owez miss you.. (its kinda stupid cuz I owez think of you ^^)